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Apologies-Apologizing
- A Prayer About
How You Must Apologize For Hurting Others
Precious Father,
Precious Lord Jesus,
Wonderful Holy Spirit,
Lord, I hurt someone.
I did not mean to hurt this person but I still hurt someone
and now I am grieved over what I did.
I know must say I am sorry.
Give me the humility to go to this person.
Give me the humility to be honest.
Give me the humility to say I am sorry without any regard for the
consequences coming back to me.
In the name of God the Father, Jesus Christ the Son, and the Holy Spirit who
lives within me and touches me,
Amen
- A Devotional for Self-Discipleship
About what to do when a mistake is made…
Psalms 69:5 You know my folly, O God; my guilt is not hidden from you. (NIV)
We all make mistakes. We all do foolish things. We make some mistakes by
taking a chance, knowing the consequences in advance, yet we go ahead in
foolishness, take our chances, and end up making a mistake. Some mistakes we
make are made not knowing in advance that we are making a mistake. These
mistakes are made in ignorance, naivete, or in innocence. Other mistakes are
made by us out of anger, frustration, lack of self-control, and from a lack
of self-discipline. Most important of all is that we should have guilt about
our mistakes. It is important that we do feel bad when we err. When we have
no guilt, it means we have no conscience. God knows our mistakes. God knows
whether we made the mistake with darkness in our heart. However, God also
knows our guilty feelings. Most importantly, God wants us to move on in our
lives, to get over the mistake, to change our heart and mind, to fix the
mistake, to apologize, and to make progress. To not move on, or to be
continually bound up in guilt keeps you from doing God’s will, keeps you
from glorifying God, and keeps you from being a mature and effective child
of God.
About a quick fix…
Matthew 5:25 "Settle matters quickly with your adversary who is taking
you to court. Do it while you are still with him on the way, or he may hand
you over to the judge, and the judge may hand you over to the officer, and
you may be thrown into prison. 26 I tell you the truth, you will not get out
until you have paid the last penny. (NIV)
We live in such a rapid age we expect a quick fix for anything going wrong.
However, there is an area of your life where you truly need to implement a
quick fix. The area of your life where you need a quick fix is the area of
mistakes. When you make a mistake, fix it quick. The longer you go without
attempting to fix a mistake, the longer the mistake will take to fix.
Tragically, when you put off fixing a mistake, you begin to tell yourself
the mistake does not need fixing. Then you can make the mistake again and
you tell yourself the mistake is no big deal, you are only human, no one
cares, or the mistake is not important. People are creatures of habit. When
you make a mistake two or three times, you are likely to keep making the
mistake again and again until the mistake is a part of your life. So, when
you make a mistake, fix it quick. If the mistake involves another person or
persons, apologize, seek their forgiveness as well as the Lord's
forgiveness.
About regaining relationships with others…
1 Peter 4:8 Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a
multitude of sins. 9 Offer hospitality to one another without grumbling. 10
Each one should use whatever gift he has received to serve others,
faithfully administering God's grace in its various forms. 11 If anyone
speaks, he should do it as one speaking the very words of God. If anyone
serves, he should do it with the strength God provides, so that in all
things God may be praised through Jesus Christ. To him be the glory and the
power for ever and ever. Amen. (NIV)
Unselfishly regaining a relationship with others is first a matter of
regaining yourself. Regaining yourself is a matter of losing yourself.
Losing yourself means you lose your pride, lose your ego, and lose your
selfishness. What separates us from others is the result of our own
selfishness. What separates us from others is our sin. If you want to
unselfishly regain a relationship with others, you must learn to push away
your pride and ego. If you want to unselfishly regain a relationship with
others, you must learn to be unselfish. To be truly unselfish, you must let
all of your pride and ego be washed away in the love of Christ. God calls us
to love others and to help them. God calls us to love others not for
ourselves, but for His glory and because others often need our help.
About when we sin…
John 15:2 He cuts off every branch in me that bears no fruit, while every
branch that does bear fruit he prunes so that it will be even more fruitful.
3 You are already clean because of the word I have spoken to you. 4 Remain
in me, and I will remain in you. No branch can bear fruit by itself; it must
remain in the vine. Neither can you bear fruit unless you remain in me. (NIV)
Every person who ever lived, except Christ, will die a sinner. Anything you
say, think, or do that does not glorify God is a sin. Anything you do to
please yourself and does not glorify God is a sin. Every thought, every
word, and every action not glorifying God is a sin. Even when you are sure
your thoughts, words, and actions are godly, you can still be committing a
sin. In our worldly reality, we are all hopelessly lost, no matter what we
say, think, or do. Our problem in life is not whether an action or inaction
is a sin. Our problem
in life must be whether our heart bleeds and breaks when we sin. Out of the
utterly hopeless and helpless circumstance of our sin taking us away from
Christ we hear Christ calling us to come back to Him. Christ died to set us
free from our sins. Christ died to set us free from our addictions, our evil
thoughts, and our evil behaviors. When we sin, Christ is with us to redeem
us and make us new persons.
About when you can't fix your past…
1 Corinthians 12:8 To one there is given through the Spirit the message of
wisdom, to another the message of knowledge by means of the same Spirit, (NIV)
You may have heard the phrase "What is done is done." Although we cannot
rewrite what has happened to us in the past, we do have choices and
opportunities to write what will happen to us in the next few hours, days,
months, and years ahead. Our past can haunt us like a ghost. Our past can
give us poor excuses why things are like they are in the here and now. What
we can do with our past is use our past to fix the way things are now and
fix the way things will be in the future. If there is anything we ever learn
from
our past we must learn we can learn from our past. When we learn from our
past it is as if our past was built for our growth and development. When we
use our past to get better and wiser, we have essentially neutralized what
has gone on before. It is true we cannot undo what has been done to us or
what has been done by us. What is also true is we can grow, and learn, and
make every attempt to use our past moments as teachers and guides for our
future. We can make every possible effort to never let the darkness of the
past repeat itself. We can make every possible effort to get off the
treadmill our past can often make our present. To fix our past means we
really do something about the way things are and the way things will become
in the future. What you must learn as you look at your past is God has
always been and always will be with you. With God, all things are possible.
With God, you can erase the effects of the past. With God, His love pouring
down into your heart may not erase your memory of the past, but His love
pouring down into your heart can erase what the memory of your past does to
you. With God, His love pouring down into your heart makes your life new
today and for all the days of your eternity.
About when you can't fix your mistakes…
Psalms 32:5 Then I acknowledged my sin to you and did not cover up my
iniquity. I said, "I will confess my transgressions to the LORD"-- and you
forgave the guilt of my sin. (NIV)
If we are traveling along a road using a map to find our way and we make a
wrong turn, we can blame the person who made the map, even if the map is
correct in its making. The map may indeed be wrong, but the fact remains we
must fix our mistake and get back on the right path. If we spend all our
time blaming the mapmaker for our wrong turn and we spend no time getting
back on the right path, we never reach our destination. We cannot change
what we did yesterday. We cannot change the history each of us creates every
day. All of us make mistakes. Not one of us who walks the earth is a perfect
person. It is when we begin to understand we all make mistakes we can begin
to address what we have done in the past and also address what others have
done to us. When we begin to understand we all make mistakes, we can then
begin to forgive others and forgive ourselves. Too often and in too many
ways we let ourselves make excuses about why we have made the mistakes we
have made. Too often and in too many ways we tell ourselves or others our
mistakes are caused by others or caused by circumstances beyond our control.
However, if we make excuses then we have not fixed or tried to fix our
mistakes. Although we cannot change the events we create every day after the
day is over, we can always change what we will do tomorrow. Although we
cannot change history, we can apologize to all the people we have hurt in
the past. We can all try to make amends with others without making any
excuses. Although we cannot change our history, we can change the effects of
the history we create by never repeating the mistakes we have made in the
past.
About Christ calling you to apologize…
Matthew 5:25 "Settle matters quickly with your adversary who is taking
you to court. Do it while you are still with him on the way, or he may hand
you over to the judge, and the judge may hand you over to the officer, and
you may be thrown into prison. (NIV)
Christ is calling you…
This very hour, Christ is calling you to apologize to the people you’ve hurt
rather than letting old hurts in others and in your own heart linger on.
Christ is calling you this very hour to set things right, fully knowing your
efforts to apologize may fall on deaf ears. However, Christ is always
calling you to do what is right in His eyes by offering apologies to the
people you have hurt in the past. Christ is always calling you to apologize
because He knows offering an apology is a way of offering His love to
others. Christ is always calling you to apologize because apologizing will
give His love a chance to flow between you and others. Christ is always
calling you to look within your soul and within your conscience to see where
you might have made a mistake of any kind. Inside your conscience and inside
your soul, if you think you might have made a mistake, even if there is just
a chance of a mistake, Christ is always calling you to swallow your selfish
pride and say ”I’m sorry.” For when you say those two simple words in
honesty and in humility, you do not just humble yourself before another
person…you humble yourself before God. Christ is calling you now, won’t you
listen and won’t you respond?
About taking things personally, the wrong way…
Philippians 2:3 Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but
in humility consider others better than yourselves. (NIV)
As fallible human beings, we can receive a positive comment the wrong way. A
quizzical look can be misinterpreted the wrong way. We can live our life
continually scanning the world around us for signs others are against us in
some form. At the root of this issue is a heart weakened by sinful
selfishness. Even a hurting heart can be weakened and turned into sinful
selfishness. What do we do when we are honest and we realize we have taken
things the wrong way? If taking things the wrong way has resulted in
offending someone, then we need to apologize. If taking things the wrong way
has put barriers between us and others then we must work to tear down those
barriers. Most certainly, taking things the wrong way poisons our
relationship with Christ. Even in our relationship with Him, we can assign
events of our life to His will when those events may have been the result of
an attack by Satan. In all our sins and mistakes of life, the one place we
must always visit, every day, is the foot of our Savior's cross. In His
cross we find His forgiving and healing love.
Source: Patrick Kelly,
Shepherd’s Care Ministries
Courtesy: Rosana D' Alessandro |
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Rosana D' Alessandro