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With internet fast spreading it's web
over millions of people and more specifically young teenagers, it is fast
becoming a popular meeting ground for young hearts. Love on the net is
becoming quite popular and very 'hep' too. To have met a guy over the net
and fallen for him is "the" thing today. It's a kind of status symbol to
show you are modern, progressive, technically savvy and what not.
The main meeting place for such people is the chat rooms that have
mushroomed in millions all over the net. Any website worth it's salt has a
chat room as part of it's various offerings. Young people meet here and
often enough it's "love at first byte" for them, not withstanding the fact
that they more often than not don't know the first thing about each other.
As finding love on the net has irrefutably become a part of our lives, lets
explore the feasibility behind such an idea.
First of all consider whether we really
get to know a person through the net. Doesn't the very anonymity of a person
tend to make him more daring and more outgoing than he would be in person?
Moreover words are very impersonal things. You cant judge the emotions
behind them. You never know whether a person is being serious or taking you
for a ride. "I love You" looks the same whatever maybe the emotions of the
person typing them. Chances of being taken for a ride is almost trebled in
an on-line relationship. It is not to say that nice people don't haunt the
net but pigeon holing someone as nice is sure a difficult task.
Second difficulty is authenticating the identity of a person. How do you
know whether a person is really what he says he is? More often than not, the
two people chatting are located very far off geographically. In such cases
it becomes very difficult to find out whether a person is really what he
says he is. Also the chat itself gives scope for exaggeration. people are
often tempted to add spice to the real themselves so create a favorable
impression on the other person. A friend of mine had this chat friend who
claimed to be the only son of a businessman. He threw around big names with
ease and pretended so be some high flying party bopper. When truth was out
it was found that he was the son of a person working in railways as a clerk.
This is the extent to which exaggeration goes.
More importantly I have found that a person is very different in flesh than
what he sounds on a chat. More often than not, I have come off disappointed
after meeting a chat buddy. It's not that he wasn't a nice person as he was.
It's just that he sounded better on the net and I hoped more. Take the case
of this friend of mine. He was a software engineer in US and we used to chat
regularly. He was witty, humorous and a total extrovert. Then he came down
to India and we decided to meet. Imagine my surprise when not only was he a
total introvert but couldn't hold a conversation for more than 10 minutes. I
was so taken aback that I was tongue tied too and we spent the better part
of an hour staring at the floor and ceiling alternatively . He frankly
admitted that he felt more at ease chatting on the net and that in real life
he shied away from company. though we are still friends and chat up
occasionally I know it's all a sham and that isn't really what he sounds
like. I have learnt that people often portray their ideal self rather than
their real self on the net.
This is not to say that all net relationships are doomed to failure. My
cousin married her net friend and is happily settled with him.
Just be careful and reserve judgment till you actually meet the person. This
way you can save yourself a heartbreak and disappointment. Don't take
on-line relationships especially those with a person you have just met, very
seriously. It takes time to build a relationship with a person whom you have
never met. Be judicious and you will find that the net can be a great place
to be in and you may actually make a few friends who last a long time.
Courtesy: Javaria Kaleem |
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Javaria Kaleem